How do you feel about Fuyumi’s way of dealing with Endeavor’s abuse? I don’t think her way is wrong, per se, and I don’t even think trying to talk her brothers into it and being frustrated they don’t feel the same way is. But it feels like the fandom vilifies her and plays down Endeavor’s neglect towards her as less worthy of sympathy to justify that she’s in the wrong, while also accepting the same neglect as a valid point of sympathy for Natsuo because he (& they) feels the same way as Shouto.

I think Fuyumi’s desire to reconcile is what she should pursue if that’s what she wants. It’s up to every person to work through whether or not they want a relationship with an abusive parent once safe, and the boundaries and time is up to the victim to decide.

I do think her actions are a bit *ugh* but they warrant empathy, and villainizing her makes me sad. In theory, it’s really not cool to try to push your siblings to reconcile when they do not want to (Natsuo) or aren’t ready (Shouto). Trust me, I’ve been there–having someone push you to forgive is really hurtful and not helpful. That being said, I also totally understand where she’s coming from. She’s a child who had her family ripped apart, and who really wants her family to stay together. She stayed living at home to care for Shouto, so she’s always been motivated by her family. Condemning her for this is sad, I think.

Also, the idea that neglect is somehow less harmful than physical abuse: #yikes It is still abuse. It can be extremely traumatizing for a child. People who say that should really… not.

Can I ask you something Hamliet? Do you have any… advice on how to properly put distances between you and your family, not because they’re bad or anything but because some stuff is affecting you too much and you need to live your own life, but can’t manage to cut the link and not feel guilty about it? Because of financial reasons I can’t for now live on my own and so I’m in this environment that is stressful and a little overwhelming sometimes.

Same Anon, sorry, it’s just that I’m extremely sensitive and
clingy to my family, always been unable to have this emotional
independence ever since being a kid, so when things are tough sometimes
(a lot this year) it really stresses me out to hear lots of arguments
and since I can’t move out yet because of money, I’m just looking for
what I can do to reduce the anxiety about it. I know you’re not a
counselor or anything, but you’re always very insightful, so I’m just
wondering. Thank you.

Hugs to you, if wanted, Anon. That’s really, really stressful. I can relate as well, having been in a similar circumstance before.

I’d strongly encourage you to reach out to someone you trust, even if it’s anonymously, who is willing and able to listen to you. It’s important not to keep it all bottled up inside.

I’d also encourage you to find an outlet–like writing served as one
for me, or even reading meta or reading manga or watching anime, as all
these have been somewhat helpful for me at some point in my life. Outlets can help you express your anxiety and even work through it, even if not directly addressing it, in effective ways.

I’m sorry if that’s not very helpful. I hope things work out soon, Anon ❤

How do you think one can reconcile enjoying a work but knowing that the author or filmmaker or what-have-you said or did awful things and hasn’t taken any steps to be better or are dead and therefore can’t improve.

It depends on the person and on what they did, and on you and your personal triggers, and I don’t think there’s a perfect answer. I’m pretty much into “death of the author” (aka the author’s/artist’s work should stand on its own), which can allow you to enjoy works by problematic people to an extent–because we’re all problematic. If we try to make sure we don’t consume any art that’s problematic or created by a problematic person, you’re probably not going to be able to experience art of any sort at all.

That being said, like, I don’t watch Woody Allen or Roman Polanski films, and I’m really disgusted with anything Woody Allen related in particular. I know Orson Scott Card is horrifically homophobic, so I avoid Ender’s Game and the like, but a lot of people really like Ender’s Game and aren’t homophobic… so they separate the work from the author. Which can be done. It’s just harder for some things for me than for others. And that’s fine.

Honestly? I think the art someone likes and consumes is not a good indicator of their morality. I don’t think it’s an indicator at all. That being said, each individual is allowed to be like “yeah, not dealing with that because the person behind it is awful.” But if other people still enjoy the work on its own, that’s also fine.

@aspoonofsugar recommended this video from Mother’s Basement to me. I think he does a fantastic job of exploring the tension and nuance between good art by a bad person.

A sort of follow up question to my question in the Marley arc. As a fan I didn’t join in on the AoT manga until the Festival Battle so I didn’t notice the effects of the pacing as much as other fans. How could Isayama have addressed the pacing issues?

I think a monthly manga lends itself to pacing issues naturally to an extent, but I also think part of the slow pacing with the flashbacks that didn’t offer new information might have been Isayama wanting to set up chapter 100 to be that chapter lol. In other words, I think a lot of the flashbacks weren’t necessary or could have been incorporated to Shiganshina–we could have learned about Reiner and Bertolt’s friendship, etc. before Bertolt got killed, which would have made his death more impactful. I am very, very interested to see how the anime is going to handle the Marlay Arc in a likely season 4. in general they did a good job fixing the pacing of the Uprising, so I’m interested to see what they do with the Marlay.

Did you like the introduction and expansion of Marley in AoT?

I very much like it as far as it goes in terms of writing; it’s definitely among my favorite arcs! But I also think it was a pacing disaster and there’s a reason the fandom went basically dead for a few months. I think those chapters are very strong and Gabi, Falco, and Reiner all got excellently fleshed out, but in a monthly manga, it felt just–very long and drawn out, and it’s just a long time to spend away from your main cast.

Have you seen the dragon prince?

Not yet!

Hi hamliet! I enjoyed reading some of your posts about mutsurie and found myself here! I was curious if there were any scenes in tgre that proved mutsurie isnt just a one sided love Would there be any good scenes showing mutsukis side of affection??

Hello! Thank you; Mutsuki is still a favorite character of mine and Mutsurie a favorite ship! I have written about this before, so feel free to search my blog for it, but I would also recommend the light novel re:quest (which definitely implies it), and the scene wherein Mutsuki realizes Urie is coming to save him on Rushima (Akira tells him) and murmurs his name, then getting the strength to fight, implying a sense of comfort and strength with Urie.

What do you usually prioratise when rating a show?

Character development and themes. Plot and worldbuilding are cool but I don’t really care about them. The story matters to me most, and what I’m probably going to be thinking about after an anime is over isn’t “neat powers” or “what a twist that was” but its commentary on human nature, the world, hope, despair, etc., as well as any characters I connected with. Characters are slightly more important than themes as well to me–like BNHA isn’t so strong with its themes, but its characters are great.

Visually, nice animation is also good, but it has to be like… powerpoint levels to really bother me, but even if it is if the themes are strong enough it can kinda get away with it to an extent (NGE I’m looking at you). And colors. A great color scheme is also going to help–the first season of Tokyo Ghoul had excellent colors and I loved that. Hunter x Hunter 2011 and Banana Fish also use a great color scheme to add vibrancy. The story matters to me far more than the aesthetics, though, so aesthetic appeal is like… a bonus, but not a huge factor.

What’s your least favorite anime that you’ve watched?

I generally don’t watch very much of anything I don’t like haha. If I’m not enjoying it, I’m probably not putting the time into it.

With the one exception being Tokyo Ghoul re season 2. I guess you could say I am enjoying (parts of) it, but that’s because my expectations were low anyways and I just wanted to enjoy seeing certain parts animated like 0 Squad, etc (and yet somehow, I am still disappointed at times). It’s a bad adaptation that’s poorly animated and really fails on just about every level as an anime, so I guess I’d say that one. But I’m not like hate watching it; it’s not good, but it’s fun for me to see a story I cared deeply about be adapted especially since we’re probably not getting another chance to see those characters.

Do you think Endeavor’s redemption gets more spotlight than how his victims deal with the abuse?

In the recent arcs, on and off, yes. The majority of the Pro-Hero Arc, the Remedial Hero License Exam, etc–Endeavor is kind of the main character and hero of this, and we see his pain and suffering that led to him lashing out, which is fine if you’re going to redeem a character (it’s actually necessary if that’s the goal).

But when we get the other family members, we focus on how Rei feels about Endeavor, not about how Rei feels about herself. Her thoughts are filtered through a lens of Endeavor-focus, which is kind of squicky because the point of abuse is that people make it all about themselves and punish other people for their pain. Fuyumi and Rei are framed as being in the right with Natsuo in the wrong through the fight with Endeavor, because we’re encouraged to root for Endeavor in the fight against the Noumu. Because we’re rooting for him in another part of the chapter, it makes little sense to imply that the author intends for us to root for Natsuo’s dislike of him in the other pages of the chapter.

Until 192, wherein the framing is really, really good, showing the complicated reality of coping with abuse and how everyone copes in different ways, and that’s not necessarily wrong. (The only one I’d say is coping in a maladaptive way is actually Touya/Dabi.) And then it swings back to showing Todoroki’s pain and anguish in the current arc, which is good except when you’ve just been building up a character for redemption in the same chapter it feels a bit whiplashy.

So I do think Horikoshi is trying, but it’s a difficult topic to write about and it’s not perfect, and sometimes he’s succeeding and sometimes he’s struggling or even just–not succeeding at being sensitive. I can critique that aspect of the story while still admitting the Todoroki family drama is my favorite part of the story, I was super excited for each chapter of the Pro-hero Arc, and at this point I’m very interested to see how Endeavor’s redemption plays out, since it certainly ties into one of my favorite characters’ arcs (Dabi’s).