How do you feel about Fuyumi’s way of dealing with Endeavor’s abuse? I don’t think her way is wrong, per se, and I don’t even think trying to talk her brothers into it and being frustrated they don’t feel the same way is. But it feels like the fandom vilifies her and plays down Endeavor’s neglect towards her as less worthy of sympathy to justify that she’s in the wrong, while also accepting the same neglect as a valid point of sympathy for Natsuo because he (& they) feels the same way as Shouto.

I think Fuyumi’s desire to reconcile is what she should pursue if that’s what she wants. It’s up to every person to work through whether or not they want a relationship with an abusive parent once safe, and the boundaries and time is up to the victim to decide.

I do think her actions are a bit *ugh* but they warrant empathy, and villainizing her makes me sad. In theory, it’s really not cool to try to push your siblings to reconcile when they do not want to (Natsuo) or aren’t ready (Shouto). Trust me, I’ve been there–having someone push you to forgive is really hurtful and not helpful. That being said, I also totally understand where she’s coming from. She’s a child who had her family ripped apart, and who really wants her family to stay together. She stayed living at home to care for Shouto, so she’s always been motivated by her family. Condemning her for this is sad, I think.

Also, the idea that neglect is somehow less harmful than physical abuse: #yikes It is still abuse. It can be extremely traumatizing for a child. People who say that should really… not.

Do you think Endeavor’s redemption gets more spotlight than how his victims deal with the abuse?

In the recent arcs, on and off, yes. The majority of the Pro-Hero Arc, the Remedial Hero License Exam, etc–Endeavor is kind of the main character and hero of this, and we see his pain and suffering that led to him lashing out, which is fine if you’re going to redeem a character (it’s actually necessary if that’s the goal).

But when we get the other family members, we focus on how Rei feels about Endeavor, not about how Rei feels about herself. Her thoughts are filtered through a lens of Endeavor-focus, which is kind of squicky because the point of abuse is that people make it all about themselves and punish other people for their pain. Fuyumi and Rei are framed as being in the right with Natsuo in the wrong through the fight with Endeavor, because we’re encouraged to root for Endeavor in the fight against the Noumu. Because we’re rooting for him in another part of the chapter, it makes little sense to imply that the author intends for us to root for Natsuo’s dislike of him in the other pages of the chapter.

Until 192, wherein the framing is really, really good, showing the complicated reality of coping with abuse and how everyone copes in different ways, and that’s not necessarily wrong. (The only one I’d say is coping in a maladaptive way is actually Touya/Dabi.) And then it swings back to showing Todoroki’s pain and anguish in the current arc, which is good except when you’ve just been building up a character for redemption in the same chapter it feels a bit whiplashy.

So I do think Horikoshi is trying, but it’s a difficult topic to write about and it’s not perfect, and sometimes he’s succeeding and sometimes he’s struggling or even just–not succeeding at being sensitive. I can critique that aspect of the story while still admitting the Todoroki family drama is my favorite part of the story, I was super excited for each chapter of the Pro-hero Arc, and at this point I’m very interested to see how Endeavor’s redemption plays out, since it certainly ties into one of my favorite characters’ arcs (Dabi’s).

i find dino as a compelling villian he has no backstory he is not sympisizeble he does evil becuase hes evil. there was one thing that made dino stand out he doesn’t just sit down and back orders he acts, he acts thats what makes him different from the big bad

Well, Dino is definitely the big bad of this story! I also think he is complex, but I don’t think he’s sympathetic (I don’t think sympathy or moral grayness, because Dino has neither, is required for complexity). He does evil things because he only thinks about himself. He’s a selfish bastard in every way, and he only is concerned with what he wants and what he thinks he needs, his power, his legacy (hence, Ash). He does not see anyone else as a truly human being–it’s all him. He really is a monstrous person and really can’t fathom that someone else is not a tool used by him: Ash does not want to be shaped by his money fame power prestige–none of it. As Ash says to Blanca, it’s all fake. Whether Dino is trying to adopt him or kill him, Ash doesn’t care, because he wants nothing to do with that man, and Dino can’t understand it because he always gets what he wants because Dino is the only thing that matters to Dino.

I don’t think he’s consciously aware of just how disgusting he is, which is why Foxx (who should be appearing next episode) is kind of important as a character, because he is Dino without complexity and brings this to the surface–because Foxx and Dino really aren’t different at all, but Dino would like to think they are.

(Same anon) personally when I think golzine loves ash the same way I would love a Ferrari, it’s pretty, makes me proud and is mean to an end, ash is totally a cog in golzine’s ambition, he feels like he made him and thus can destroy him if he wants, that’s a pretty twisted way to look at people and it’s totally a dehumanizing relationship. That’s why I love eiji and ash so much,there is no power dynamic there, eiji despite his inexperience is not a damsel in distress and ash doesnt need fixing

Yeah, this. Golzine refuses to see Ash as a human. He’s a devil. A wild beast. A lynx. A leopard, a lion. A sex object. But Ash is a goddamn kid, a human being with feelings and dreams, and Golzine’s dehumanization is so horrifying. Ash and Eiji truly see each other as people outside of the roles they’ve been prescribed, beyond just powerful gang leader or dude in distress who lost his talent. They’re people to each other, and that is what is so beautiful and healing about them.

Of course, if Ash actually were a Ferrari, he would probably be treated better. Golzine treats Ash like a thing, but also hurts him, and most people wouldn’t harm a fancy car.

with every episode of banana fish Goldzine reminds me more and more of those toxic parents that project themselves onto their children (kind of like nagisa’s mom from assasination classroom) and want them either to become a “perfect” version of themselves or a continuation, i honestly disagree when other’s said that dino doesn’t love ash, he does but in a very twisted, obsessive, possessive and deranged way, he sees the pontential in him and thinks on how it can benfit him, he’s selfish af

I’m gonna address this in two parts: Golzine as a character and Golzine’s “love” for Ash. Golzine is a fantastic villain. I hate him. I despise him and want him to go down, and I want him to suffer. But, he’s extremely well-written and is I think a great example of how to write a villain who is a complex character without being remotely sympathetic or morally gray. I think that trying to make him sympathetic would have been a horrific misstep; for him to work, he needs to be hated and despicable. His symbolism and role in the story is excellently done, and he needs to be monstrous for it to work. Not to spoil, but a character who is about to be introduced (whom many manga readers commonly comment is useless, imo is entirely not useless, because he represents an important part of Golzine).

As for love… I think you summarize Golzine’s feelings towards Ash perfectly, but I would not use that word “love" because it can be triggering for people to associate something that should be associated with safety and respect with something so obviously opposite that. Golzine’s feelings for Ash are entirely twisted, obsessive, and possessive like you say. It’s comforting to say that that is not love, and I would be inclined not use that word because it’s clear Ash doesn’t consider it love, and I don’t think the narrative does in any sense either. Dino doesn’t see Ash as a person. He sees him as a thing, and therefore can only have the feeling one has for a trophy, not for an actual human being, because to love a human being (as we see in Ash and Eiji’s love for each other, and at the very end with with two others) means to see their flaws and their strengths, means to not try to control them. That’s pure, beautiful love. Love frees. It does not enslave.

That being said, as an abuse victim who, having been through years of therapy and not around them for years now, does think my abuser loved me, to whatever extent they could (but it doesn’t excuse anything they did to me, and I recognize they will never, ever love me the way they should have loved me), I also recognize that it’s a very complex topic. Suffice to say, people should be extremely sensitive and let victims define their relationship with their abusers. Love or twisted love, not love, it’s up to a survivor to narrate their story. Love does not have one precise “this is love” definition. Many people prefer to keep that word sacred and safe, and that’s okay. But you’re not wrong in your interpretation either.

Maybe it’s love. But it’s something that hurts, which means many will not want to call it love, and it certainly isn’t what anyone aspires to in love. If that makes sense!

But Shoto learning from Endeavor isn’t about him being defined by Endeavor. If Shoto is really serious about becoming the best hero he can be, it would be stupid of him to throw away such a great resource: someone who knows the Quirk extremely well & is always going to be willing to teach him. And that’s excluding all the personal reasons Shoto might work with Endeavor. Plus, Shoto (love the kid) but he’s not that innovative with his Quirk on his own. Tbh idk if I want Shoto to do it either, js

It’s true that it isn’t necessarily him defining himself by Endeavor, but he wants to be different than his father. It would not be stupid for him to choose to protect his mental health and avoid his abuser and the exact situation that provoked abuse (being trained by him).He literally had a traumatic flashback in the previous chapter to a training session. That being said, you’re right that it’s certainly possible Horikoshi will head in that direction.

Under the cut for a personal opinion:

I am just really confused as to what Horikoshi is doing with Endeavor and Shouto’s relationship in terms of the writing. I think there’s a definite weakness insofar as the framing goes: Horikoshi clearly (as 192 and the recent flashbacks show) does not want to gloss over or in any way trivialize Shouto’s abuse, which is commendable. I do think he really cares about abuse victims and is appreciating how serious the subject matter is. However, he has also committed at this point to redeeming Endeavor and quite possibly towards some kind of reconciliation between him and Shouto, which is again, not my preference, but fine as well, yet the framing is really swinging wildly about between encouraging the audience to sympathize and then to hate and then to sympathize and then to hate. Like, I would have been a lot more cool with him training with Endeavor post-pro-hero arc when Endeavor’s character was really shown in its most sympathetic light, but then showing us these flashbacks that definitely painted Endeavor as cruel and eugenics-focused really goes against painting sympathy for Endeavor so it comes across as messy. That being said, again, the Todoroki family drama is still my favorite subplot in the entire story, messy or not.

But isn’t coming to terms with Endeavor a big part of Shoto’s arc as well?

Oh, sure. But he’s been defining himself by Endeavor, which is the point of what Deku yelled at Shouto back in the tournament arc. It’s your power. It’s on you. He shouldn’t try to be better than Endeavor, he should try to be the best version of himself.

I also don’t know that reconciling with Endeavor is the end goal of his arc. I do think it will be a part of his arc (though I don’t think an abuse victim needs to reconcile with an abuser in any way, but I do think that’s where Horikoshi is building and I hope it will be well done). But whether or not Endeavor apologizes sincerely and maybe they reconcile, that’s not (imo) the end goal of where Shouto’s development is headed. His goal is to be a good hero in his personal life and in his actual hero life.

A hero who is not known as the son of Endeavor, but as Shouto.

Is PTSD always related to a traumatic event?

Yes. It’s Post-traumatic stress disorder, so it stems from a traumatic event.

Complex PTSD, while it does not have its own separate diagnostic criteria in the DSM-V, is a type of PTSD in which the victim is repeatedly exposed to trauma in a situation they have no way to escape. It’s not a one-time event, in other words, but an ongoing traumatic situation. Like growing up in an abusive home and/or a cult.

Hey i wanted to ask ur opinion in a serious subject, idk what’s up with people but lately I have seen a lot of people using mental health and abusive past as an excuse of bad beheaveour and awful actions and idk but I feel really offended when people try to use that “Card” am I overreacting? I struggle with mental disorders because I suffered an abusive past and I know plenty of people as me and they r kind hearted people that do not bully or abuse others so i find it upseting that people

Try to use this things as an excuse for bad beheaveour stuff like oh I just did this cuz I have bad anxiety … do you Think that having an mental illness or an abusive past excuse you from bad Doings?

No, you aren’t overreacting. There is a strong difference between understanding what caused a behavior and excusing it. It is true that hurting people hurt others. But you are still hurting people, and it then creates more hurt which creates more hurt which… and on and on and on. Someone eventually has to say stop. But it’s hard as well. Mental illness and an abusive past are incredibly difficult for people to deal with (I deal with both) and it can be agonizing to handle. But hurting others in my pain still is not okay.

As an example from my own life… I suffer from depression and obsessive-compulsive and C-PTSD symptoms. When I was at my lowest, I pretty much cut everyone off and withdrew from almost all my close relationships. Because I was hurting. But, in my hurting, I hurt people too–people who really loved me, when I legit just wouldn’t talk to them anymore. Fortunately, now that I’m on Zoloft and have been doing more/less better for over a year now (though I have really bad days too, it’s not like it was before), I was able to touch base with those people and apologize and repair those relationships. No one was really angry at me once I explained the cause, but I also made a point to acknowledge that they were hurt and I was sorry for hurting them. Because in my pain I caused them pain.

If you are attempting to explain why you did something hurtful as a symptom of your illness, that’s brave of you. But I think it’s vital to acknowledge someone else’s pain, because if you don’t, you are in essence saying “my pain is more important than yours.” It’s not okay. I can understand and empathize with why someone might do something hurtful, but if you are not acknowledging the pain you are causing and not trying to do better, you aren’t helping.

You aren’t helping yourself. You’re not going to get better if you don’t admit there’s a problem. Your hurt won’t go away by hurting someone else. You aren’t helping the people around you. And you aren’t helping the general stigma of mental illness by being like “well, it’s my illness talking so I can keep doing this as an example of what it’s like to live with this and who cares whom I’m hurting, aren’t I brave for raising awareness of what it’s like to live with this illness?” I see that attitude a lot on tumblr and as a mentally ill person, abuse survivor, and a former counselor myself, it really makes me feel sad, because it’s quite a myopic way of looking at things, and it’s really hurting you as well as hurting someone else. Your mental illness may be a significant part of the cause of you hurting someone, but you have a responsibility to say “I’m sorry, my anxiety was really bad and I lashed out. You didn’t deserve that, I will do better” or something along those lines–and then to take steps to try to do better.

So yeah, having a mental illness and/or a tragic past does not excuse you. It does, however, warrant empathy. Ableism is a real thing and I’m kind of sensitive to it, and I hate it when people police the coping mechanisms of abuse victims because some are more societally acceptable (while being equally unhealthy as ones that aren’t). And it’s true that people should not be condemned, because unless you’ve walked their path with them, you can’t judge that you would react any differently. But you can say “stop hurting me.” And if you are the survivor or the one with a mental illness, you probably do warrant accommodations in a variety of ways (like, if I obsessively wash my hands, please know it is not an insult to the cleanliness of your place, or if I get tense and panicky at a certain sound it’s not that I’m afraid of you, it’s that I’m probably about to have a flashback), but ways that allow you to hurt someone aren’t (like lashing out at someone and then being like “I was just feeling anxious we’re cool right?”)

The goal of therapy is often to replace maladaptive coping mechanisms (bullying would be one) with better coping mechanisms that are actually helping you heal (express your anger in writing, for example). I wish tumblr (and society in general) would be better at encouraging people to pursue such methods by giving someone who is struggling a safe place to express their pain but also having good boundaries (”I understand you’re feeling anxious. It’s still not okay to yell at me.”)

*btw: you can be angry and express it without hurting someone*

My opinion about the “Is Mitsuki Abusive” thing. She’s not framed as such. BUT. Just like TG, this particular slapstick trope is pretty damn disingenuous to use in a series that deals with abuse.

Yeah, I agree. In BNHA’s defense, it is a lighthearted series, but the fact that Endeavor and Bakugou are clearly foils really muddies the slapstick and I do understand why people are triggered by it, though it’s still pretty clear that she isn’t intended to be portrayed as abusive.