*clears throat, cracks knuckles* All right buckle up, it’s about to get theology in here.
I don’t believe in a traditional fire and brimstone hell. Honestly the way that’s taught in evangelical Christiandom is like… God is a teacher who leaves everyone with a bunch of textbooks and is like good luck kiddos figure out which one is the right one! And then he never really shows and then whoever fails the test at the end of the year gets lit on fire. That’s just dumb. I also didn’t come up with that analogy but I think it fits. So, bah to religious litmus tests for hell.
I’m a Christian, right? So part of it has to do with the way I interpret different Biblical verses via looking at the original context and the original language used in the text (sorry white American evangelicals it wasn’t English). There are beautiful verses like about God is love and then about Jesus reconciling all things to himself–and the word used in Koine Greek really means, like, all things, like everything ever, like everyone ever. A lot of the hellish imagery is almost certainly a writing tool (cough Revelation) not prophecy, and the traditional fire and brimstone hell is really not an idea that originates with Hebrew texts or with early Christian ones, but instead with nearby cultures. I could go on and go more in depth, but those are just my religious beliefs.
But in another reason irregardless of specific religion: I’ve seen a lot of fucked up shit in person in this world. Like a three week old baby too far gone to save from starvation. Like a four year old I knew left to die in a hospital hallway from a scorpion sting because he was the wrong caste. Like a boy whose mother was raped and then lit on fire in front of him, who never smiled in the three years he was at the school I worked with. Like kids whose parents sold them into prostitution. I despise the people who hurt these kids I care deeply about. I still do. I wish they would spend time in prison and if I saw them I don’t know what I’d do.
But I’ve also seen abuse victims go on to abuse others, and I’ve seen students I love try to murder other students I love. I saw a boy cruelly mock his disabled peers, and then found out his mother lit herself on fire to escape his father’s abuse and his father hung himself on the same day. I saw a child who molested another child because they had been molested, and after exhausting legal options, we had to give the child back to the person we believed was abusing them. I love those kids too. It’s easy to condemn them, and people did. And of course, first priority is to protect their victims from them, and we did. But don’t those kids need help, too? It’s agonizing when you can’t give them that help. When justice won’t happen for any of the above people I mentioned.
The only way I can cope with the problem of evil is the idea of, somehow, a loving God. If God is not loving, I don’t want jackshit to do with him/her. If God is Love, then I cannot ever imagine sending someone you love to suffer forever. Even if your child is a totally terrible person, you should still love your child but not the deeds. Not only that, but I think humans are limited in understanding and there are so many factors–genetic and nurture too–that go into making someone who they are. Which isn’t to excuse responsibility, because I look at certain political leaders and I want them to rot because they are responsible for their choices and they’re hurting people. I’d think that breaks God’s heart, and that he has plans to redeem all this horror somehow. Because the world sucks in a lot of ways.
But in terms of infinity, I think humans have finite minds. I also don’t think everything done in this life should be swept away and justice shouldn’t exist because that is not love in any respect, but I don’t think it looks like an eternity burning in hell. In short, I don’t know, but if God is love and I believe he is, then I trust him. I don’t think mercy and justice are two opposites, but rather that they compliment each other and work together in an ideal world.
So I don’t really know what an afterlife looks like in terms of justice, but I do know that I choose to have faith and trust. I don’t need to know everything, nor do I want to (sorry cult I grew up in, certainty is dumb). I am comfortable with grey matter, but that’s just me. I am also sorry if this isn’t very clear. I have not yet had my morning tea.


